I don’t think I have ever felt happier, more confident and completely thriving in life then I am right in this moment. I have almost made it to a year of being single and I have loved every single minute of it.
Once the toxic relationship that brought both partners complete unhappiness and repeated nights of tears and rage completely full heartily ended, the real me was allowed to immerge.
The best me yet was being shunned by the pressures of the person I was told to be. The person I thought I had to be to remain in the relationship. We all think that maybe we won’t get another chance, maybe this is what we get and we have to make the best of it. This is not true! You are allowed to be happy, and there will be other opportunities to find love!
Once that chapter had fully concluded, I woke up the next morning and decided I would be the greatest version of myself and nothing would stand in the way of that. Falling deeply in love with who I was had to be the most important thing to finding my true happiness. I needed to fall in love with all the dark places of myself, forgive the painful past and let go. It began by separating myself from situations that would steer me away from the self love path. My constant unhappiness was my motivation and kept me going throughout the whole process because I finally knew I deserved happiness. The stories I had grown tired of telling myself about not being good enough were not true. It was time to change the story and it was time to be the most real and authentic version of myself.
Being single provides a lot more time to do WHATEVER you want. The time and possibilities become endless because the most important person you have to focus on is you and you can give yourself exactly what you want. You no longer have to be forced to go to things that don’t bring you joy. Finding old hobbies and interests you once used to enjoy that you no longer could have made time for become a daily ritual. Friendship bonds are reconnected and made stronger than ever. The love in your tribe is what supports and keeps you going forward.
Adventuring to far away places alone becomes possible because there is no one limiting you not to depart. The freedom of opportunities and chances to be had, make living life more liberating.
The thing about being single at any time in your life is there are no longer any excuses to not be everything that you have always wanted to be. You have no reason to play small any more. The scary thing is that you now have the chance to face the grim and dark places in your mind, and to begin to heal them, but only if you are brave enough to do so.
Many will shy away from the opportunity to uncover who they truly are, because change is uncomfortable and unknown. The road is rocky and harsh. Unlearning self-loathing and replacing it with self-love takes practice, patience, and sacrifice. But, if you are bold enough to take the first step, the end game will be like nothing you've ever imagined. It is your service to the world to be the truest expression of yourself.
For the longest time I did not believe you could wake up every morning excited for what the day brings. When I look at my reflection in the mirror now, I see myself no longer pretending to be anyone else. I never knew what happy was until I was this happy.
A version of this was modified & published here: Why You Shouldn't Be Scared To Be Single On Valentine's Day