Tuesday, February 19, 2019

The Girl Who Cried Freedom

Within the span of 8 months I’ve seen him perform twice.
My mind, heart and body were in two different places for each time.
Both stages were days filled with love and laughter.
Except this show I felt deeply within my heart. 


This man from the UK sang of pain and from the dwelling of my heart at this moment, I could feel it. Looking directly at him as his words came from deep within his soul and filled the room. I planted my feet on the ground to be able to allow the music in. As my body filled with its power, my hand clutched my heart.
He was feeling his pain as he revived his heart to tell his story.
Using that honesty of his emotions to reveal his story.
The words seeped into my aching heart and it burst. My eyes filled with tears slowly.
As he felt, the entire room felt the rawness of his heartbreak.
He opened his heart to show it to this small intimate room in Orlando.
Feeling and hearing the words illuminating what I couldn’t describe deep within.
I felt a release. A spiritual connection and letting go during his performance. His art.
He looked at the audience with the lights on.
Thanked them for giving him their time, for time is so precious.

Time is such a fascinating concept. The growth that happens as it passes by.
You don’t realize it until you are faced in similar surroundings or emotions.
The time to feel, to allow what needs to flow to come through.
As days pass, things begin to feel less.
As months go by, things feel differently.
The first time I saw him was in Paris at a free concert that we happened to find ourselves at. I discovered him months before when his music reoccurred in my yoga playlist because of the power of his voice and the instrumentals. Seeing his name on the weekend festival flyer, I knew I was destined to see him perform live. It was outside in the sunshine and I felt the joy within his lyrics and his energy. For I was among my two girlfriends letting inspiration consume us.

Music has this way of letting you feel emotions that you can’t truly convey. This understanding of your heart as you surrender to feeling it.
I woke up the next morning with these lyrics echoing inside me. 

“Oh, please be good to me
Oh save my soul and lead me home
I've been running for far too long
Oh, please be good to me” 
I surrender to this moment. 
To not run anymore, but to feel.

(All pictures taken by me in Paris, France July 2018, I was too present to take pictures at this last show)

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

empowered women empower women | found it in buti bliss

We live in a time where sisterhood is at its strongest vibration. Where we can connect with women that allow us the space to grow and vibrate together. Women radiate when they feel positive and peaceful with who they are and they want those around them to feel the same.
Empowered women empower women. 
If we treated each other as equal and supported one another, we can all rise together. We waste too much energy feeling threatened by each other, when we can focus on uplifting one another. I worked in a primarily women corporate company. Each day I watched as insecure women rose to the top and used their authority to push those wanting to grow further into monotonous tasks and spaces not to speak. They would belittle and bully individuals below them. I knew it came from a place of unhappiness and lack of confidence. From a fear of losing their position and ability to control, they made sure to not teach for fear we could grow beyond.
As hard as they tried, they couldn’t break me. I knew the strength I had. I had someone who sat by me and reminded me each day when she saw me down with passion and aggression “you are better than this, you will rise”.

Within those same walls I found women that radiated and our connections were instantaneous. The experience provided me the closest and most supportive women, whose spirits motivated me and saw my potential when I didn’t feel fully there yet.

Every week I would go to a Buti yoga class to be reminded of how women could empower each other. The studio always had their doors open wide to comfort me when I felt myself losing my shine. Each week we all stood in front of a mirror.

Women of every body type, age, and career path coming together to focus on giving their bodies self love. We allowed our bodies to move without rules or limits of how it should look. Releasing judgement towards ourselves and those around us. A power of women coming together. Raw, sweaty, & not perfect. Just being in their bodies to release grips we hold as women in our hearts. 
Buti is Maharathi for a cure that has been hidden or kept secret. I felt each week I was awakening the truest form of me as I flowed in that class.

After I quit and traveled the world for a few months, I missed the bliss I felt after the intense movement of the class. I missed the women and the energy I experienced. Yoga gave me peace of mind. Buti gave me an empowered, sexy feeling of union with women as a whole.

When I returned from my travels I became certified during an intense two day packed training. It pushed me to become more vulnerable and strengthen my power. Learning more about the practice revealed its influence it had on me and the room of women wanting to become teachers as well.

This practice made me believe in women when I felt the most betrayed by them in my daily life. I love teaching it because of the awakening it could possibly provide others. But most of all, its so fun and empowering!

My best friend said after I taught my first class “doing Buti with friends is like having sex with friends in a platonic way. I am rooting for you! I look sexy! You look sexy! We doing this!

Let us stand in our power. 
Let us love each other. 
In turn it allows us to love ourselves with passion & stimulating adoration.

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

year of discovery | new year upon us

This year has been a year of discovery. I realized that I haven’t wanted to share as much because I am realizing things on my own that I am not fully ready to express yet.
My writing has become my solace in my journal. My creations and my art are therapy for my being. I feel connected to myself even more when I take time away from my computer and phone. I’m giving myself time. For feeling emotions, being in my body & dreaming with eyes wide open.
I am learning to speak my truth and value myself in ways I never knew.
This year has taught me SO damn much.
Maybe one day I will tell you all about it.
It just doesn’t feel right for me to share yet.
Each person is different. Which means each discovery of self is different.
It is not linear. It is a journey.
The timing is their own.
It is no race. No rush. There doesn’t need to be force either.
But it is work towards your happiness. For your dreams and goals.
To release blocks within yourself that have kept you from FULLY loving.
From FULLY believing.
Becoming aware of habits and narratives that need change.
You have the capability to create your life.
Embrace each moment.
Especially during this week before the new year.
Take time to evaluate the growth this past year has provided you.
The learnings that have occurred throughout it.
Accept it. Accept all of it.
Forgive those that have hurt you.
Forgive yourself for mistakes or wrong turns you have made.
All of them. Every one. Led you here.
To this moment in your body approaching a brand new year.
Accept the past.
Accept the present.
Focus on what you want this new year to provide you.
Get clear. Connect with yourself to know the next steps to take.
No one knows.
Only you.
I’m not hiding from the world.
I’m just being part of it more.
May I continue to be filled with love & happiness.
May I continue to be guided & trust my intuition.
Happy New Year!