Tuesday, October 18, 2016

pure bliss in the present moment// Dubai+Abu Dhabi trip

I have returned to Lebanon after a week long trip to Dubai and Abu Dhabi. I landed in the busiest airport in the world. I wandered through the largest mall and went to the top of the tallest building. Dubai holds a lot of records for large and mighty structures. I had the luxury of seeing this country with friends that felt like family and showed me all there is to see.
I soared up to the top of the Burj Khalifa, and was able to see the cityscape from above in the night. The lights scattered all the way to the horizon. The city lights created moving constellations on the ground with their beaming illuminations. Highways looked like moving Christmas lights streaming in traffic. Far above the world the view from the top made the city look so majestic but small. I sat on the cold ground to really allow the view to soak in. I could see the darkness of where the city ended and the desert began and where the sea line would be in the daylight. So many languages were being spoken around me but I could barely hear their dialect as I inhaled the magnificent view. 
Here I was sitting on the ground on the 125th floor. How lucky I felt to be able to see the world through my eyes and experience life the way I did. I was present in my surroundings and able to digest everything I was seeing and experiencing.
We need to be grounded in our present position wherever that may be. The pain of the past has a tendency to creep up on us and disable us from enjoying what the now has to offer. The thoughts of the future kidnap the excitement from today. We worry about what is to come or what if the pain I felt is repeated. We build walls to barricade us from pain; we plan ahead and try to force things to happen the way we want to control the future.
But the more we force life to happen or dwell on the pain of yesterday; we cripple ourselves from the present.
There is no better time than now. So be here. Look down and see where your feet are planted. Feel grounded in your environment. Take a look around at your surroundings and inhale the air. Listen to the atmosphere and the people around you.
Life is too short to not live life to the fullest capability.
Things happen exactly as they are meant to. You trying to force it a certain way will only cause you frustration and stress. Don’t go against the current.
The more we live in the present, the more in tune we are with ourselves and can see where life takes us.
The last night before I left I went on a desert safari. We drove outside Abu Dhabi to the middle of the desert. We piled into a SUV and sped into the sand. The car was slipping and sliding up and down the sand mounds. Racing up the top and skidding its way down and at times coming fully of the ground. We all laughed and at times you could hear screams of fear as we all thought we might topple over on the dunes. 
When we got out of the car my heart was racing from the dune bashing but I felt so alive and excited. We stood in the sand and watched as the sun said goodnight and dipped into the horizon. The sky was filled with shades of pink and orange which contrasted against the beige sand. 
We made our way up the sand mountain, which took more effort than you would expect. The sand was soft and cool, each step you took the desert tried to pull your feet in making each stride more difficult. Once we made it to the top we looked around us. Sand as far as the eye can see. Little light remained from the sun and the sky was a deep navy and purple. The air was cool in the desert and the smell of the BBQ being cooked was wafting in the air.
We grabbed the snowboards which would become our sand boards. I latched my feet in and stood looking at the steep decline down. I felt an overwhelming sense of fear creep on me. Nadine reassured me how soft the sand was and any fall would never cause any pain.
I could not allow fear to stop me from taking this dive down. So down I went after a few attempts of struggling to stand. There was nothing to be fearful of. This was not scary at all; it just appeared frightening when you looked at it.
Some things in life will cause you fear or worry, and you just have surrender and take the plunge. We need to release fear to experience life.  
We looked behind us on our walk to the tent for dinner and the belly dancing show. The large super moon was rising from the sand. It was a deep red with hues of orange, and it was slowly making its way up into the sky in all of its glory. It shone so bright that no stars could be seen around it.

I feel pure bliss now. Confident of where I am and present in each moment. I have moments where my mind wanders to worry about the future or dwells on pain from the past, but I take a deep breath in and realize exactly where I am because I do not want any fearful thoughts to take away from the incredible moment I am in now.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Monday, October 3, 2016

finding my personal legend

I’ve worked the cubicle job, and climbed the retail ladder. I felt little contentment.
Sitting underneath the fluorescent lights, in a desk chair that I could never be comfortable in, staring at two computer screens for 8 hours a day brought me no joy. I felt my spirit slowly dying in the corporate environment and losing my luster and excitement for everyday.
I found happiness with those I worked with and small everyday enjoyments. But the job itself did not light any fire within me. It actually killed it with a tsunami of routine tasks.
Feeling like a robot in a Monday to Friday routine, and praying for the weekend to come even sooner or for more holidays to randomly appear to have days off.Is this what life is supposed to be? I saw others happy with where they were and excited to work. I felt no such excitement.

My spirit needed more. I needed to bring more to my life and myself. I wanted to see what lit my spirit on fire. What awoke the volcano deep inside me?

It takes time. It takes active listening to your body and the signs from the universe. It is finding what your personal path truly is and your true purpose.
It is also the realization that you deserve it. 
“People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them.” –Paulo Coelho

If you have not read The Alchemist, I suggest you read it immediately and over again when you need to be reminded that we all can have a life we dream of.
We spend our entire lives working towards making money to fulfill a dream. But during that work we sometimes forget what we were saving all the money for in the first place. We lose sight of that dream and it becomes a faint memory. Everyday life and responsibilities drown us.
I don’t see myself sitting in a cubicle at this point in my life. That is not my true purpose.
“When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream” –Paulo Coelho

I have been writing for some time but I never thought I was good enough to be a writer or to even showcase my writing. Words have always flowed out of me effortlessly. I wanted to portray my thoughts and feelings through my words, by having my heart described in sentences and stories for others to feel.
It took me being at yoga training in Costa Rica last year and hours of meditation and yoga to realize what I was capable of. With all the heart opening sequences and the hours of clearing my mind, my fear came out that I had hidden deep inside. So I wrote, I wrote it all out into my sacred journal. I let the words flow from my pain on to the paper, tears fell down my face rapidly and I realized how all of my painful stories tied together. Running out of the room, my teacher followed me. She grabbed me and embraced me in the middle of the rain forest. As she held me, she whispered, “Only the trees can hear your tears” and the waterfall of tears I was holding back were released. The dam I had built to hold in the pain was destroyed and everything rushed out.
The words I wrote I decided the next week to read to my fellow yogi sisters. I felt something inside me that told me to share my story. I read it aloud and never looked up from the page fearful to see their reactions. When I finished, I gazed up at the women that I had grown to love in the three weeks we had together and they were all crying.

They let me know my strength and how powerful of a writer I was.
This was the universe letting me know I was following my path.
It led me to Costa Rica to these women to this moment where I let go of my past pain and walked effortlessly from the spring with a sense of freshness and confidence that I was heading in the right direction.
I worked in the corporate world for a few months when returning from Costa Rica. I felt lost and confused because I wasn’t following my dream any longer. I felt as if I was going in the wrong direction.
The job ended and I flew across the world to my country.
I find myself writing this as I sit in my mother’s village up in the mountains. Hearing the trees sway back and forth with the wind and the smell of dinner being prepared. The wind carried the laughter of children into the open window. The village has a sense of peace and tranquility.  
I don’t know what my personal legend is. Or what my next step is but I know the universe is conspiring to help me find it and leading me in the right direction.

Because as I am wandering around Lebanon for two months, I find out more about my culture and myself. I am learning about what brings me joy and allowing the creativity to flow out of me.
“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too”. –Paulo Coelho

The Alchemist was given to me in Costa Rica by a soul sister who informed me that I would love the book. I shall pass it on to the next person I think needs to be inspired.
The book was given to me a second time before I left on my trip by a friend who was moving across the world to Norway to follow her personal legend.
I decided to bring it on this trip with me and reread it. This book will forever be in my life. Whenever I feel lost, or uncertain I will read it over again.
Because in the end, all we want is to be happy and live our purpose.
Before I left I was interviewing people that are living their dream and how they were led to their personal legend. I wanted to show that it is possible and people are doing it everyday.
I want to inspire others. I want to walk this earth and meet those that are living their personal legend. I want to see life for its true beauty and people for their true potential.
I am not completely sure what my personal legend is just yet. But I feel myself being guided in the right direction because I wake up everyday excited for what is it come. I am in the present moment with no expectations and pure happiness for the present moment.
“Life is the moment we’re living right now”. –Paulo Coelho

I feel myself floating. Floating through life effortlessly, because I am following my path and as I follow my path there is no barriers as I am carried on the wave that I am meant to ride.
“When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision” –Paulo Coelho