Why being single is not the worst thing to happen

I don’t think I have ever felt happier, more confident and completely thriving in life then I am right in this moment. I have almost made it to a year of being single and I have loved every single minute of it.

Once the toxic relationship that brought both partners complete unhappiness and repeated nights of tears and rage completely full heartily ended, the real me was allowed to emerge.

The best me yet was being shunned by the pressures of the person I was told to be. The person I thought I had to be to remain in the relationship. We all think that maybe we won’t get another chance, maybe this is what we get and we have to make the best of it. This is not true! You are allowed to be happy, and there will be other opportunities to find love!

Once that chapter had fully concluded, I woke up the next morning and decided I would be the greatest version of myself and nothing would stand in the way of that. Falling deeply in love with who I was had to be the most important thing to finding my true happiness. I needed to fall in love with all the dark places of myself, forgive the painful past and let go. It began by separating myself from situations that would steer me away from the self love path. My constant unhappiness was my motivation and kept me going throughout the whole process because I finally knew I deserved happiness. The stories I had grown tired of telling myself about not being good enough were not true. It was time to change the story and it was time to be the most real and authentic version of myself.

Being single provides a lot more time to do WHATEVER you want. The time and possibilities become endless because the most important person you have to focus on is you and you can give yourself exactly what you want. You no longer have to be forced to go to things that don’t bring you joy. Finding old hobbies and interests you once used to enjoy that you no longer could have made time for become a daily ritual. Friendship bonds are reconnected and made stronger than ever. The love in your tribe is what supports and keeps you going forward.

Adventuring to far away places alone becomes possible because there is no one limiting you not to depart. The freedom of opportunities and chances to be had, make living life more liberating.

The thing about being single at any time in your life is there are no longer any excuses to not be everything that you have always wanted to be. You have no reason to play small any more. The scary thing is that you now have the chance to face the grim and dark places in your mind, and to begin to heal them, but only if you are brave enough to do so.

Many will shy away from the opportunity to uncover who they truly are, because change is uncomfortable and unknown. The road is rocky and harsh. Unlearning self-loathing and replacing it with self-love takes practice, patience, and sacrifice. But, if you are bold enough to take the first step, the end game will be like nothing you've ever imagined. It is your service to the world to be the truest expression of yourself.

For the longest time I did not believe you could wake up every morning excited for what the day brings. When I look at my reflection in the mirror now, I see myself no longer pretending to be anyone else. I never knew what happy was until I was this happy.

A version of this was modified & published here: Why You Shouldn't Be Scared To Be Single On Valentine's Day

adventure is out there!

We need to keep the adventure soul alive. Sometimes we forget that there is a wanderer inside all of us. We go on with our days in a ritualistic way forgetting the journeys that can be had. It is not about where you live or the job you have that will limit the wanderer within you, it’s your lack of curiosity and drive. You must keep the curiosity alive; you must allow your inner child to remain active.

Whatever sparks interest within you, dive in and learn more. The greatest discoveries all were created from a flicker of curiosity.

Find inspiration in every day moments that can ignite the exploration. Finding beauty in your days will allow you to be grateful for each one you are given.

You don’t need to travel far to explore. Destinations are everywhere. Just go explore areas you’ve never seen. It’s about who you are with and the journey you take together, not so much about the actual location.

Spontaneous adventures with good friends can lead to pure bliss. So plan a day with your crew. Go to locations you have not seen in years with fresh eyes. Be outdoors and appreciate what this earth has to show us. Look up as the sun dances through the trees trying to illuminate the forest.

Be present. You are surrounded by so much life around you. Appreciate all the shades of green and shapes of leaves around you. Be thankful for your companions on this crazy journey we call life.  

Life is art and you need to appreciate the masterpiece that is illustrated in front of us.

Each day is beautiful. Each day calls for adventures.

So go outside, explore where your heart guides you.

you are not stuck

You are NOT stuck. I feel as if I have to state that because we all have a tendency to forget or feel so trapped in our current state that we don’t realize a way out. We continue in committed relationships because we think that’s the best we are going to get. We consider that we were only given this one person and that I am messing it up, so we need to continue until we can fix it. That’s not the case. If you are in a toxic relationship that doesn’t make you feel excited and happy for every single day then you don’t have to stay in it. Be that a relationship with your significant other or a friendship. If you don’t feel supported, loved, appreciated and just simply happy with this person, you CAN leave. You have the capability to get up and walk out. It is mustering up the courage to do so that takes so long.

At times we know it. We know in the back of our mind that the person we are with is not the one we want to marry. We feel it deep in the pit of our stomach that they are not our forever. But we still remain hopeful and trying to force it. We change ourselves to make it work because we think that the time accrued from this relationship is more valuable then our own happiness. We put our significant other before us to the point that we lose our self. The fights continue and the blame is always placed on you. To the point where you start to believe it yourself, believe that you are unworthy and you alone create the chaos and disruption in the bond.

It’s a trap. A trap to make you believe you can not leave. To make you believe that THIS is the happiest you will be. A trap that has been forming far before you can even remember. The idea of inadequacy planted deep within you as a child and grown into adulthood to make you believe you are not enough. Which makes you strive to make friendships and relationships last because of the complete lack of self.

You feel entire disconnection from yourself because you know what your gut is telling you but you are having trouble facing it. To actually admit defeat that the relationship is not meant to remain will be the toughest part.

But slowly, once you surrender and walk away. You start to realize who you are.

The happiness within you that you forgot existed begins to reveal itself. The shining light that you had that was put out by the relationship returns in full brightness. Because you have finally did it! You did what you knew from the beginning that you had to do.

There are so many people that do not know their beauty or worth, that remain in relationships and settling for unhappiness. They don’t realize the fact that they deserve happiness and they can have it.

You have the strength and the courage to do things that make you happy. You’ve had it within you this whole time. Now you must follow your intuition and allow the person you have always meant to be shine through.

If you are crying more than smiling and you can feel your gut instinct begging you to make a drastic move. Do it! Because at the end of the day, if you two were not meant to be together then maybe you were both meant for another.

There will be someone out there who will appreciate every thing about you. Who will find all your quirks and oddities, are what makes you who you are.

But until that time, you must fall in love with you and the freedom of singledom.

You must realize you are enough and you have always been enough. Fall in love with you and be fully yourself, because truly there is no one better to impersonate.

Why waste anymore time being unhappy? Don’t allow a fearful story you’ve told yourself for over a century continue playing out in the present.

You are not stuck!

& you deserve happiness.