Tuesday, July 3, 2018

happy birthday to me from Paris

This is the least amount of loved ones around me on my birthday ever. I have always been surrounded by love ever since I was born. Summer time and July have always been a season to celebrate. My birthday comes the day before the independence of America so it has always been a large festivity and I typically make it a week long palooza of sorts. I plan for it for months ahead of time and end up being more stressed by the time it rolls around. But that doesn’t feel like me anymore. 
I have no plans at all or expectations. 
We change. We evolve over time. Experiences, life, people, the journeys, they either change us or keep us stagnant. For me I continue to evolve into something different (like a Pokemon). Something more aligned to my truest self. I am finally letting myself be the person I’ve always secretly wanted to be. 
Connected, happy, & me. 
I have sought solitude. Being alone allows me to feel, recharge, and go off into the world ready. Being in a foreign country is an entirely different form of feeling alone. Instead I am observing, absorbing & seeing how others love and live in all their forms. Witnessing all the love around me. A city so in love with love. I am loving just being in the moment. I love love. I love seeing it, hearing about it, and feeling it. Even just being around it and this city is full of it! Public displays of affection are everywhere. Full on make out sessions by the canals. Ass grabs walking down the street together. I may not have loved ones are all around me physically but I can feel the love from them. As I read words sent from the states to me here. I can feel love afar consume my body. I don’t feel alone at all. 
Now I am on the other side of the world. Celebrating life, love & myself. I feel calm and at peace. As I celebrate my 28th trip around the sun, I am going to trust myself from now on. For I am love. Life, love, and inspiration all comes from within. Nothing is outside of me. 

Flowing through, feeling it all, and being exactly where i am meant to be. Savoring each moment slowly. Feeling the connection with myself, with the world around me & with love.