Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Kind Words// Part 3

Do you think you take enough time for yourself?
Do you love yourself?

Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship.
If you can't love yourself,
treat yourself with compassion, &
say kind things to yourself;
you can't expect to go out into a world wanting to receive love from others.
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for all your relationships.

I am learning the hard way that I have not taken enough time for myself.
Or truly even like my self at times.
I have moments where I question every single thing about me.
My ego goes on rants about how I deserve to be sad and how I don't have the capabilities to achieve my dreams. My inner dialogue is my biggest critic and the biggest bully I know.
I have always been able to give others advice with soft and kind words, but I have never been able to do that for myself.

I have been a people pleaser as long as I can remember. Always there for people, trying my hardest to be the greatest friend. It became exhausting because I always put other's happiness above my own. It has taken until now for me to feel entirely disconnected from myself. 

I have allowed past emotions to bottle up inside me. I never truly experienced the pain when it happened and just tucked it under the mat. I didn't expect it to come flowing out of me onto people I love. All of this pain just erupted out of me. I never took the time to feel the emotions and go through the pain. Now years later, it is hitting me like a brick wall. I have finally been able to take the time for myself to focus on what I need. 

Which is to heal.
To take care of my self.
Truly love myself.
Every part.
Every quirk.
Every freckle.

I want to be able to sit with myself, and truly love everything about me.
As selfish as that sounds. It is incredibly important.
I'm not perfect. I am enough though. I need to believe it.

We are placed with obstacles in life to grow from.
I am slowly releasing the blocks of painful emotions.
Sometimes we let out hurt, fear or guilt onto someone to mask our own searing pain that we are afraid to feel. 
Releasing and forgiving.
Because I know from this point on, things will only get better.

Because now I will love every part of myself.

Shine as brightly as I once did.