Monday, August 7, 2017

friendship

People come into our lives at the exact moment we need them to and not a moment sooner. Friendships can last forever but some have an expiration date.
Regardless of their length of time, each one will teach you. The lessons are of growth, of life, and enjoying each other. Friends are those that come together to enjoy what life has to offer. For adventures, laughter, memories, and lessons.
When the friendship is no longer fun, and brings upon feelings of sadness, anger or irritability; it could mean that the friendship has run its full course for the time being. Its at this time of frustration that we decide if we continue with the friendship even though it has become more of a burden than an enjoyment or realize that its come to an end now. Even though you tried and you put forth the effort to hold you two together, the efforts went unappreciated and useless. At times you don’t have a say in the conclusion of them but the friend wanted it to not continue on. The friend decided that their life path no longer included you to be a part of it and they no longer wanted to put forth the energy required. Perhaps a fight caused the ripple in your friendship and they see no reason for repair. Whatever the reason is that caused the tear in your connection, it could just not be meant for you in this time of your life.

At the end of the day, friendships should not be hard or cause you to be feeling more angry than happy. This goes for all relationships. If the emotion you feel with this person is mostly a feeling that causes you distress or sadness then realize that this is not how it should be at all.
When the expiration date has arrived, it can be hard. Because a friendship ending induces heartbreak, regardless of it not being a romantic relationship. You have put love into another. You have shared moments and secrets with each other. Your friendship was a bond you once saw as forever. But now your time together has come to an end.
You may not both see eye to eye anymore. The love and energy you were putting into it may no longer be reciprocated. Life happens and people change, we become busy and no longer decide to put forth the effort. Friendship takes mutual respect and both involved investing into the other. It is about growth, and showing each other support and always pushing them to be their very best.
The memories you’ve had together showed you who you are. You both grew together. But now your paths are separating. We don’t always continue down the same paths. When we meet that fork in the road, we have to let go. For as much as we want this friendship to continue because its what you two shared together, you both know that it wasn’t fun anymore.
I’ve had many friendships end. Close and dear friends that I thought would be forever & always. But with time, we grew & we changed. We become different people than who we befriended at first. The effort and want for the friendship has to be reciprocated. We know that this person has come to our life for a reason. And for some reason, they are no longer to continue in the direction we are headed.
Friendships are made from similarities and likes. You grow a bond over your connection and the energy created when you are together. You can feel a bond with people. When you first meet them, a desire to get to know them, and hear their stories. For their story will include their trials and tribulations in life. Learning about this captivating person by hearing who they are, we absorb experiences and learn from them.
The friendships that are meant to happen for you will happen effortlessly and easily. Those you are meant to meet, you will connect with by no force. Conversation will flow clearly and a connection will grow with each time you continue working on this new found companionship. Stories will be shared of pain. Advice and input is given based on experiences. You feel safe and aware that this person will be there for you. They will help you when you need it and they will support you in your journeys on your path. Through celebrations and pain, friendships always help.
Friendships appear though at the time you are meant to have them. Regardless of you both living in the same vicinity for years before your friendship has started. You may run in the same circles, but your connection moment hadn’t occurred until it was ready to.
A few years ago I was dumped while doing an internship overseas. The justification was based on him being lonely and it being unfair to him. Knowing I couldn’t allow this break up to ruin my trip, I buried my broken heart and continued on for the next two months adventuring with my mother. I could not allow a cowardly breakup to take away from my mother daughter journey. Once I returned, he wanted to mend our relationship. Before going forward, I had to ask if there was anyone while I was gone and he admitted there was. Through his convincing explanation and apologies, I forgave him. In my eyes I felt the relationship hadn’t fully run its entire course yet, we weren’t completely done.
When confronting my girlfriend about this other woman, she told me they all knew her. At first I demanded to see a picture to see who she was. My friend insisted I sleep on it and decide tomorrow morning. After a full nights rest, I decided to not see who she was. With a full image of her, I would compare every finite detail of her to myself. I also did not want to see who she was, because it had nothing to do with her at all. She never did anything wrong. He was the one who pursued her while still having a girlfriend and representing himself as a single man. His actions and pursuits gave the impression that he didn’t have another love. Our relationship ended way after its expiration date, because I never wanted to fully admit that its date had come. When the emotion you are feeling is mostly sadness than happiness, that is when your life paths cannot continue side by side.
I created a friendship with the other woman. We never knew until the other day as we both realized together. A bond formed with a girl I ran in the same circles with. We both would see each other at different venues but there was one night that we both came together to talk. A friendship formed and we started making plans each week. It flowed so easily. We shared stories of our past, our self-journeys and our future dreams.
On a drive back from yoga, the name of my past relationship came out in conversation. She told me about a summer fling from a few years ago who bore the same name. We laughed at the outrageous realization we had. Bewildered at the coincidence, we knew we were always meant to be friends regardless of what happened. We came together years later by pure connection. I was never meant to see a picture of her because I would have never given her a chance and we would have never been able to form a bond.
Appreciate life’s synchronicities. The coincidences in your days are trying to show you, that you are on the right path. People come into your life at the exact time they are meant to. They leave your life at the right time as well. So forgive those that leave, because you should not have to force any friendship. Friendships come into your life to teach you and to show you who are you.

No comments:

Post a Comment