I’ve worked the cubicle job, and climbed the retail ladder.
I felt little contentment.
Sitting underneath the fluorescent lights, in a desk chair
that I could never be comfortable in, staring at two computer screens for 8
hours a day brought me no joy. I felt my spirit slowly dying in the corporate environment
and losing my luster and excitement for everyday.
I found happiness with those I worked with and small
everyday enjoyments. But the job itself did not light any fire within me. It
actually killed it with a tsunami of routine tasks.
Feeling like a robot in a Monday to Friday routine, and
praying for the weekend to come even sooner or for more holidays to randomly
appear to have days off.Is this what life is supposed to be? I saw others happy with
where they were and excited to work. I felt no such excitement.
My spirit needed more. I needed to bring more to my life and
myself. I wanted to see what lit my spirit on fire. What awoke the volcano deep
inside me?
It takes time. It takes active listening to your body and
the signs from the universe. It is finding what your personal path truly is and
your true purpose.
It is also the realization that you deserve it.
“People are
afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t
deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them.” –Paulo Coelho
If you have not read The Alchemist, I suggest you read it
immediately and over again when you need to be reminded that we all can have a
life we dream of.
We spend our entire lives working towards making money to fulfill
a dream. But during that work we sometimes forget what we were saving all the
money for in the first place. We lose sight of that dream and it becomes a
faint memory. Everyday life and responsibilities drown us.
I don’t see myself sitting in a cubicle at this point in my
life. That is not my true purpose.
“When a person really desires something, all the universe
conspires to help that person to realize his dream” –Paulo Coelho
I have been writing for some time but I never thought I was
good enough to be a writer or to even showcase my writing. Words have always
flowed out of me effortlessly. I wanted to portray my thoughts and feelings
through my words, by having my heart described in sentences and stories for
others to feel.
It took me being at yoga training in Costa Rica last year
and hours of meditation and yoga to realize what I was capable of. With all the
heart opening sequences and the hours of clearing my mind, my fear came out
that I had hidden deep inside. So I wrote, I wrote it all out into my sacred
journal. I let the words flow from my pain on to the paper, tears fell down my
face rapidly and I realized how all of my painful stories tied together.
Running out of the room, my teacher followed me. She grabbed me and embraced me
in the middle of the rain forest. As she held me, she whispered, “Only the
trees can hear your tears” and the waterfall of tears I was holding back were
released. The dam I had built to hold in the pain was destroyed and everything
rushed out.
The words I wrote I decided the next week to read to my
fellow yogi sisters. I felt something inside me that told me to share my story.
I read it aloud and never looked up from the page fearful to see their
reactions. When I finished, I gazed up at the women that I had grown to love in
the three weeks we had together and they were all crying.
They let me know my strength and how powerful of a writer I
was.
This was the universe letting me know I was following my
path.
It led me to Costa Rica to these women to this moment where
I let go of my past pain and walked effortlessly from the spring with a sense
of freshness and confidence that I was heading in the right direction.
I worked in the corporate world for a few months when
returning from Costa Rica. I felt lost and confused because I wasn’t following
my dream any longer. I felt as if I was going in the wrong direction.
The job ended and I flew across the world to my country.
I find myself writing this as I sit in my mother’s village
up in the mountains. Hearing the trees sway back and forth with the wind and
the smell of dinner being prepared. The wind carried the laughter of children
into the open window. The village has a sense of peace and tranquility.
I don’t know what my personal legend is. Or what my next
step is but I know the universe is conspiring to help me find it and leading me
in the right direction.
Because as I am wandering around Lebanon for two months, I
find out more about my culture and myself. I am learning about what brings me
joy and allowing the creativity to flow out of me.
“When we strive to become better than we are, everything
around us becomes better, too”. –Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist was given to me in Costa Rica by a soul sister
who informed me that I would love the book. I shall pass it on to the next
person I think needs to be inspired.
The book was given to me a second time before I left on my
trip by a friend who was moving across the world to Norway to follow her
personal legend.
I decided to bring it on this trip with me and reread it. This
book will forever be in my life. Whenever I feel lost, or uncertain I will read
it over again.
Because in the end, all we want is to be happy and live our
purpose.
Before I left I was interviewing people that are living
their dream and how they were led to their personal legend. I wanted to show
that it is possible and people are doing it everyday.
I want to inspire others. I want to walk this earth and meet
those that are living their personal legend. I want to see life for its true
beauty and people for their true potential.
I am not completely sure what my personal legend is just
yet. But I feel myself being guided in the right direction because I wake up
everyday excited for what is it come. I am in the present moment with no
expectations and pure happiness for the present moment.
“Life is the moment we’re living right now”. –Paulo Coelho
I feel myself floating. Floating through life effortlessly,
because I am following my path and as I follow my path there is no barriers as
I am carried on the wave that I am meant to ride.
